Peeps is not an abbreviation of “people”. I haven’t lost my mind. It’s a gadget that cleans glasses lenses. I had a look at the copy and what I could do to make it reach more women, see what you think?

ORIGINAL COPY:

PEEPS uses Carbon Molecular Technology to thoroughly and safely clean your glasses in seconds.

What's it?

Peeps is the first and only lens-cleaning product that doesn't damage a lens when used as directed. Peeps works on all types of eyeglasses, sunglasses, and reading glasses. Utilizing the only cleaning technology used in space - Carbon Molecular Technology - Peeps sets the bar for all cleaners.

 Why is it selling like crazy now?

Peeps cleans hundreds of times, never expires, is not affected by heat, cold or humidity and is a completely all natural, eco-friendly product. It keeps your glasses crystal clear, - no cloth required, and will never scratch or damage your lenses!

Who are buying up Peeps?

With the holidays right around the corner, Peeps makes a perfect gift for parents, grandparents, co-workers, and anyone who’s ready to experience life through remarkably clear lenses!

MY MORE FEMALE-FOCUSSED VERSION

Peeps - Carbon Molecular Space Tech to keep your lenses crystal-clear. No more make-up-muddied glasses!

Space cleaning tech for glasses…what?!

Houston, we no longer have a problem: Peeps’ cutting-edge cleaning tech, designed for use in space, has come to earth to clean your glasses and stop you from damaging your lenses with ineffective wiping. Peeps and Carbon Molecular Technology make you see more clearly, to infinity and beyond!

Go on…

Crystal-clear vision for life - you only need to buy it once. Peeps is mega-hardy and unaffected by heat, cold or humidity (because space..yes?). No nasty chemicals or materials involved either, Peeps is eco-friendly and kind to the planet.

So, who do I get it for?

Peeps is a little bit of super-tech for everyday and everyone! Sunglasses, varifocals, bifocals, reading and screen glasses…crystal-clear vision, scratch-free lenses and piece of mind in your pocket, whenever you and yours need it.

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DID YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?

A few thoughts on writing to reach more women…

-       No more make-up-muddied glasses – by establishing a more specific point of pain, I’m speaking to the women here, because why not? Everyone has different ideas about why their glasses get mucky. A lot of women will identify with makeup – powder, foundation or concealer rubbing off their hands onto their glasses.

-       Chatty, friendly language, like you’re nattering to an old friend– what?!, Go on.., So.., mega-hardy, super-tech

-       Making Carbon Molecular Tech more accessible and interesting – it’s space-tech and it makes you see more clearly

-       Houston we have a problem… to Infinity and Beyond Ok, both are late nineties film refs, but both play into the chatty and jokey language used and are another way of putting your prospect at ease, like they’re chatting with a mate. A mate who’s trying to sell them space-age cleaning-tech.

-       You only need to buy it once – pointing out a key benefit here, that it will last and last – so this will save money, you won’t have to waste time in boring returns queues or online, and also it can be reused over and over again – remember women do 60% of unpaid work, which includes shopping.

-       Eco-friendly, everyone is interested in saving the planet now, but the burden of “buying green” does tend to fall on women, mainly because they tend to hold the household purse and therefore buy more than men. Do women lead on eco-ethics or are they just expected to? Are men doing less than they should because it’s considered “women’s work”, to be discussed…

-       Sunglasses, varifocals, bifocals, reading and screen glasses As we’re aiming for the gifts market here, by listing every type of glasses, there’s more chance of your prospect zoning in on one that applies to them, or the person they are buying for e.g. “varifocals, nan wears varifocals. And she’s always getting them mucky…” Women tend to buy more gifts than men, it’s defo worth targeting your female audience here…

-       Piece of mind in your pocket, whenever you and yours need it – speaking to the busy mum in the family, who is usually armed with a toolkit of items to keep everyone happy. If this item fits in your pocket, it’s not going to take up yet more space in your Mary Poppins bag, another plus.